Random Reflection on Life

Yeah, so I got really, really bored (I was probably a little high/sleepy at the time too) and I decided to draw a picture about my life on Paint... This is basically it.  Interpret it however you want.  Do all paths lead to a happy future?  Or just one?  Or maybe none?  I don't know.

Lately, I've been feeling really overwhelmed with questions and more questions and general confusion.  It seems like every time I try to find an answer in life, I get thrown about a hundred more questions.  What the hell do I want to major in?  What's my purpose in life?  Is this it - the peak of my life?  Am I supposed to do something great?  Should I be patient or more proactive?  Will there be a calling for me in life or am I destined to live a normal life?  What is love anyway?  What about those great things you were supposed to accomplish or those dreams you had?  Do you even have any dreams?  Wait, do I need to pee right now?  Questions, questions, and more questions.  I have no idea what I want to do in life - I don't even know what I'm passionate about (except maybe sports, but what can I do about that?).  

Maybe I should've been an EECS major or a math major.. oh well, a little too late for that.  But there's one big question that still lingers in my head...  what is my purpose in life?  I can't turn to religion - my brain refuses to believe in it and even if I showed up to church every Sunday, I'd just be lying to myself.. I can't live a lie.  Am I supposed to help others or make a difference in the world?  Should I devote my life to a charity?  I want to do something in life - something important, something that'll make an impact on someone somewhere - but, what?  Will this even give me the satisfying, happy future I want?  It seems like I'm always wanting more.  I have an urge in me to prove my worth and I don't know if I'll ever satisfy that urge.  There's a desire and a sort of a fire in me that's pushing me on, asking for more, living off the thrill of being swamped with mountains of homework and the stress of midterms.  But, is this desire misguided?  Am I not living my life to my fullest?  I can't help but think that this can't be all there is to life - masochistically forcing yourself to do schoolwork for the hell of it.  

I don't know... this is why I don't like thinking.  Thinking is bad.  Thinking gets you killed.  Trust your instincts, damn it.  Well, I still have time to figure things out, but I can't help but notice the ticking of the clock.. tick, tock, tick tock....

Championship Sunday Recap: Favre fails, Manning prevails

Early game - Colts 30, Jets 17  The Jets had everything going - they exploded with a 17 points in the second quarter to take a seemingly commanding 17-6 lead in what was looking like a defensive struggle that their smashmouth run-first style of play would normally thrive in.  Their points came thanks to this perfect pass from Sanchez to Edwards and this trick play from the wildcat formation that led to another touchdown.  However, the Colts would not be silenced.  From there on, it was Manning being Manning.  He drove the Colts downfield for a touchdown moments before halftime and brought them to paydirt again in their first possession of the second half, giving them all the points they would need to beat the Jets as they took a 20-17 lead.  They would add to their score later in the 4th quarter to run away with the game, winning themselves a duel in two weeks against the boys from the Bayou.

Later game - Saints 31, Vikings 28 An incredibly close game in the Superdome narrowly won by the New Orleans Saints in overtime - thanks in part to a plethora of Viking turnovers and miscues that bailed out a conservative and seemingly out-of-sync offense.  The Vikings and Saints battled neck-to-neck, trading leads and touchdowns until the very end.  Brett Favre seemed to have found a way to overcome the seemingly insurmountable amount of turnovers for the Vikings and drove them downfield, on the outskirts of field goal range for Longwell, with a few seconds to go.  But on 3rd and 15, Favre rolled out to the sideline, and instead of scrambling forward for an easy 8 yards to get them well within field goal range(there was nobody in front of him - the Saints had blitzed), he inexplicably threw across the field into what appeared to be quadruple coverage and was intercepted.  The Saints defense bailed them out and Favre would never touch the ball again, as the Saints marched downfield, daringly converting a 4th and inches, to set up Hartley's game winning 40-yard field goal in overtime.  (It's important to note all the failures that kickers have endured in this year's playoffs and that of all people, Hartley, who missed a field goal earlier in the season that cost the Saints a game against the Buccaneers, would be the hero.)  As this ESPN columnist points out, this was the third time that Favre's Superbowl hopes have ended with a costly interception in his final throw in a playoff game.  Will he retire now?  I don't know, but he had better.  At least now, we're spared from having to hear stories about how great it is to have Favre back in the Superbowl...

2009 in Review: 5 to Blame and 5 to Proclaim

As 2010 dawns, a new year of hope and disappointment awaits us. Another baseball season, a Super Bowl to come, another college football season - you know the drill.  But before we look ahead, let's take a look back at 2009 with a series of posts, a year featuring a hope-stirring season from the Giants, a roller coaster season from the 49ers, another playoff choke by the Sharks, and more disappointment from the Cal football team.

Zeroes:

5.  The Giants offense minus Sandoval.  What could've been, what should've been.  If it weren't for the anemic Giants offense holding them back, the Giants would EASILY have been in the playoff race.  It's almost sad seeing all the good pitching go to waste.

4.  Bob Gregory - defensive coordinator of the Cal Bears.  Seriously, would it kill you to stop a pass once in a freaking millenium?  The Cal defense was shredded apart all year by opposing quarterbacks.  Heck, at the end, even Andrew Luck almost took the Big Game away from us.  If it weren't for one bad pass, Cal might've lost to Stanford.  I know, you can't blame everything on the coach, but come on, when you give up over 300 yards passing to a WSU quarterback (blowout or not blowout), change has to come.

3.  Joe Thornton, Patrick Marleau, Evgeni Nabokov.  What do they all have in common?  They're all top-of-the-line starters, at the top of their positions, San Jose Sharks, and of course, playoff chokers.   A President's Cup, #1 seed, and you lose to the 8th seeded Anaheim Ducks?  Could you choke any harder?  They've had many, many chances to succeed in the playoffs, only to fall on their faces over and over again.  Time and patience are running thin - it's time to get some playoff success or overhaul this core group.

2.  Brett Favre.  WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP AND RETIRE ALREADY???  Seriously, this guy changes his mind more often than a 5 year-old kid and then whines and cries about it, taking up half the news stories on ESPN every offseason.  Not only that, he just had to throw a last second miracle pass against the 49ers... we could've been freaking 4-0.  Thanks a lot, Mr. Favre.  You were a great quarterback, we know, now go retire please.

1.  Kevin Riley.  I don't even want to explain.

Heroes:

5.  Patrick Willis.  This guy has emerged as the leader of the 49ers defense.  He is the banner of smashmouth football and helped 49ers emerge as one of the stronger run defenses in the league in 2009.  Selected to another well-deserved Pro-Bowl, Willis was clearly the defensive MVP on the 49ers team.

4.  Vernon Davis.  A true zero-to-hero story.  Just one year ago, he was sent to the showers for bad behavior and a dispute with new coach Mike Singletary.  Ever since then, he has righted his life and amended his relationship with Singletary and it has clearly shown on the field.  Davis finished with 13 touchdowns, tied for most ever for a tight-end in a single season with Antonio Gates (set in 2004), and he will be making his first Pro-Bowl appearance this year in Miami.  With his best years still ahead of him, the future certainlly looks bright for this kid, and so does the 49ers offense because of him.

3.  Jeremy Affeldt.  An unsung hero in the bullpen.  If you had been following the Giants this season, you would know how many countless jams this guy got the Giants out of.  The lefty setup man easily won the TYIB award for reliever of the year (and deserved it too), leading all relievers in double plays induced and finishing with a miniscule 1.73 ERA and 33 holds.  His quick fastball and devastating breaking pitches kept the Giants ahead or tied in many, many occasions and though he wasn't the closer, he certainly did save a lot of victories for the Giants.

2.  Pablo Sandoval - a.k.a. "The Kung Fu Panda"  Curveballs in the dirt, fastballs near his head, changeups - you name the pitch and location, he'll still hit it.  Nicknamed "Kung Fu Panda" by fellow teammate Barry Zito for his resemblance to the movie character, Sandoval carried the inept Giants offense on his back - racking up 25 HRs and 90 RBIs with an outstanding .330 batting average.  He was robbed of an All-Star appearance in the Final Vote, but there's no doubt that he'll be back in the mix next year.

1.  Tim Lincecum  Do I really need to explain?  "The Freak", "The Franchise", "The Kid"... we might as well call him Jesus - he is the ray of light in the dark forest that is Bay Area sports.  He gave the Giants hope in an otherwise dismal 2008 season and carried that hope into 2009, nearly leading them to the playoffs.  He is the new face of the franchise and fans have begun to worship him as God.  He has revitalized baseball in San Francisco, giving the Giants a new younger look that will put the Bonds days behind them.  What Lincecum has done in just his first two major league seasons is practically unprecedented - two Cy Young awards and a rapid ascension to the pitching elite.  Lincecum has quickly established himself as one of the best, if not the best, pitcher in the National League and his future is as bright as it can possibly be.

And that concludes the segment "2009 in Review."  Tune in next year for 2010 in review?

2009 in Review: Top 10 Moments

(Yes, I know this is a little late, but I've been busy.)

As 2010 dawns, a new year of hope and disappointment awaits us. Another baseball season, a Super Bowl to come, another college football season - you know the drill.  But before we look ahead, let's take a look back at 2009 with a series of posts, a year featuring a hope-stirring season from the Giants, a roller coaster season from the 49ers, another playoff choke by the Sharks, and more disappointment from the Cal football team.

Top 10 Moments:

10.  9/13/09 - San Francisco 20, Arizona 16.  With the Cardinals coming off an NFC-championship year, they looked poised to repeat as NFC West champions. The 49ers came in as heavy underdogs, but regardless, they did what they had to do to win.  The offense did little in the 2nd half, but an methodical 80-yard drive led by Shaun Hill gave the 49ers exactly what they would need to hold off Arizona and win the game.  Though the Cardinals would eventually win the NFC West anyway, the 49ers put up a strong fight and showed signs of hope.  They would go on to sweep this series and finish with a non-losing record for the first time since 2002.  (Highlights here.)

9.  7/27/09 - Lincecum strikes out 15 in a 4-2 complete-game victory over the Pirates.  Okay, this might not have made the list if I weren't there myself. Nonetheless, this game was a prime example of just how special Lincecum is.  The atmosphere at the park was incredible, especially in the 9th inning - a nearly sold-out crowd standing on their feet, despite the opponent being the Pirates, cheering him on, knowing he would not disappoint as he struck out the final hitter of the game.  On a side note, Wilson had the best expression ever while waiting in the bullpen after warming up, it was kind of like "Why the hell did you guys even bother warming me up?"

8.  7/12/09 - Tim Lincecum named the starting pitcher for the NL All-Star team.  Another honor in the short, but incredible career of young Tim Lincecum.  This kid will be great for years to come.  Let's not forget, 2009 was just his second full season in the Major Leagues.  In other words, he's gonna be great for years to come. (Side note: Did you know that the first eight AL All-Star starters were either named Lefty or Red?)

7.  6/4/09 - Randy Johnson wins his 300th game.  One last achievement in the remarkable career of Randy Johnson. (Much credit goes to Brian Wilson for preserving the win with a 4-out save that included a strikeout with the bases loaded in the 8th and Burris for this great defensive stop.)  This would be ranked higher if he had been on the Giants for more than a year.  Regardless, he was one of the greatest pitchers in history and it was his god-like performance in the 2001 World Series that got me into watching baseball.  (Highlights here.)

6.  11/19/09 - Tim Lincecum wins the 2009 NL Cy Young Award.   More praise for the Freak.  The Cy Young Award goes to the best pitcher in the league that year, and once again, it was Lincecum.  What he has done is incredible - two Cy Young awards in just two full seasons in the majors.  Nobody has ever done that in the history of the game, and at this rate, Lincecum might even break the record for the number of Cy Youngs he wins in his career.

5.  Sharks win the President's Cup.  The President's Cup goes to the team with the best record in hockey, and the Sharks were that team in the 2008-2009 season.  Though they didn't get anywhere in the playoffs, you have to admire the fact that they have been able to put up such great regular seasons on a regular basis, despite being such a young franchise.

4.  11/21/09 - California 34, Stanford 28.  (Video recap here.) It was a mostly disappointing season for Cal - finishing just 4-3 in the Pac-10 while getting blown out by USC, Oregon, and Washington. "Stanfurd" had just steamrolled USC and Oregon in the previous two weeks, lighting up their defenses for 55 and 51 points respectively behind senior tailback/beast Toby Gerhart, and came in as huge favorites.  But, Cal would not let this deter them from upsetting their arch-rivals. They quickly fell behind 14-0 thanks to a long touchdown run by Toby Gerhart and a blocked punt, but Kevin Riley found the good Kevin Riley in him and Vereen stepped up as a hero in the place of the great Jahvid Best, rushing for nearly 200 yards and 3 TDs.  Cal would eventually narrow the lead to 14-10 at halftime, take the lead on their first drive of the second half, and never relinquish it. The Cal defense, shredded apart all year by opposing passers, held its ground despite giving up 3 Gerhart touchdowns, intercepting Luck in the final minutes to seal the game.  Three knees later, Cal fans stormed the field in Stanford, cheering, knowing that the Axe would remain in Berkeley for one more year.

3.  8/26/09 - Molina hits a pinch-hit 3-run HR to give the Giants a 4-3 lead in the 8th. The Giants had been trailing all game and seemed lifeless except for a solo shot from Uribe in the previous inning.  They needed this game badly to stay close to the Rockies and with two on and two out, they called on their best hitter.  He had been sitting because of an injury, but he limped to the plate anyway, and in dramatic fashion, he launched a 3-run shot into the left field bleachers, sending the crowd into a frenzy and the Giants to an incredible win that brought them within 3 games of the Rockies.

2.  7/26/09 - Renteria hits a grand slam against the Rockies, giving the Giants a late 6-5 lead.  This was a pivotal game in the Wildcard race.  The Giants won the first two games of the series after coming in trailing by 3 games and needed one more win to reach a tie for the Wildcard lead. Things looked dismal, as the Giants trailed 5-2 heading into the 7th, and faced bleak prospects as Jim Tracy called on the stout Colorado bullpen.  Renteria stepped up to the plate, with the bases loaded, facing the seemingly unhittable Rafael Betancourt and drilled a 1-0 pitch into the left field bleachers for a grand slam.  The game would require one more heroic effort, but Jeremy Affeldt would do just that, striking out two Rockies hitters with a runner at 3rd to preserve the lead.  The crowd at AT&T park exploded, chants of "Sweep!" flooded the stadium, and the Giants were still in the playoff hunt.  This series gave so much hope for the Giants, though it would eventually go for naught.

1.  7/10/09 - Jonathan Sanchez throws a no-hitter.  (Video of all 27 outs here.)  It was the ultimate comeback story.  Sanchez, in his first start back from being demoted to the bullpen and with his father watching from the stands for the first time, pitched an incredible game (would have been a perfect game if it weren't for Uribe's 8th inning error). Thanks to some gold-glove caliber defense, highlighted by Rowand's dramatic catch at the wall in the 9th, Sanchez kept the glory alive throughout the night, striking out Evereth Cabrera with a curveball to seal the game and his place in history.  It was the first-ever no-hitter at AT&T park and it will give Giants fans something to remember for a lifetime.


(Next post to come: 5 to Blame and 5 to Proclaim)

2009 in Review: Worst 10 Moments

As 2010 dawns, a new year of hope and disappointment awaits us. Another baseball season, a Super Bowl to come, another college football season - you know the drill.  But before we look ahead, let's take a look back at 2009 with a series of posts, a year featuring a hope-stirring season from the Giants, a roller coaster season from the 49ers, another playoff choke by the Sharks, and more disappointment from the Cal football team.

Worst Moments: 
(Note: Links not provided.  If you want to be masochistic and relive these moments, do your own research.)

10.  11/4/2009 - Yankees win their 26th World Series.  Evil Yankee empire wins another one... enough said.


9.  7/5/2009 - Randy Johnson leaves the game with an injury.
        It's very likely that this was the Big Unit's final start of his illustrious career.  With 303 wins, a 10.67 K/9 ratio, 4875 strikeouts (second-best in history), a perfect game, and 5 Cy Youngs, the Bay Area native was arguably the best left handed pitcher in MLB history.  He carried his Diamondbacks team to a World Series victory in 2002 (beating the hated Yankees), sharing the MVP award with fellow starter Curt Schilling.  It's always sad to see such a pitching legend go, even if he barely spent any of his career with the Giants.

8.  10/3/2009 - USC 30, California 3
       Special teams meltdown, defense shredded apart, offense worse than a train wreck, being obliterated by our arch-rivals from SoCal - it was just about as bad as it got.  Any remaining Kevin Riley supporters were quickly turned into stout critics.  Riley played just about as poorly as you can play - getting sacked multiple times, throwing red zone interceptions, missing wide open targets.  The defense simply could not hold up with no offensive support.  This was the official tombstone of the season - all hopes of a Rose Bowl or at least a decent season gone down the drain.  This loss would be higher up on this list if it were not for an even worse loss a week earlier... (mentioned below)

7.  12/6/2009 - Mare kicks a last second field goal to lift the Seahawks over the Niners.
      With Mare's kick and Seattle's victory, any chance of the 49ers going to the playoffs were decreased to near-impossible.  It turns out that it wouldn't have mattered anyway, since the Cardinals surprisingly beat the Vikings at home to stretch their lead over the division, but this loss also took away any possibility for the Niners to get their first winning season since 2002.

6.  10/11/2009 - Falcons 45, 49ers 10.
       Was this finally the season? Were the 49ers finally a good team? They were 3-1 and coming off a 35-0 blowout of St. Louis, but hopes of finally having a good playoff team were quickly shot down, as Roddy White lit up the scoreboard with 210 receiving yards and 2 touchdowns.  It was clear after this game that we would have to wait yet another year for that breakthrough season.

5.  4/27/2009 - Ducks beat the Sharks 4-1 to win the series 4 games to 2.
      President's Cup, #1 seed, home field advantage throughout the playoffs, Pacific division crown - all gone down the drain, as in seasons past.  Another playoff choke for the Sharks - this time losing to the #8 seed in the very first round.  It doesn't matter what you do in the regular season - if you can't win in the playoffs, what's the point?

4.  9/26/2009 - Oregon 42, California 3.
     Same story as the USC game.  Why is this ranked higher?  Nobody expected this to happen - the Bears were 3-0 and were ranked #6 in the nation.  Hopes of finally reaching the Rose Bowl and winning the Pac-10 were as high as they could be, but as in past seasons, the Bears did not live up to the hype, falling on their faces instead.  The game was a brutal slaughter by the Ducks - as they were completely outplayed in just about every possible way.

3.  9/16/2009 - Schierholtz strikes out to end the game - Rockies 4, Giants 3.

     A final effort to propel themselves back into the Wildcard race. Two blowout victories in the first two games had Giants fans eyeing a 7th straight victory at home over the Rockies in the final game of the season between the two teams.  After falling behind 4-0, the Giants needed a miracle in the 9th - and they almost got it.  Three timely hits, a throwing error, and a daring stolen base put the tying run at 2nd with nobody out.  But Winn and Renteria failed to move the runner over, and despite a lengthy at-bat by Schierholtz, the 9th inning drama went for naught, as Schierholtz struck out to end the game, putting the Giants 3.5 games back in the Wildcard and dashing any hopes of the playoffs.

2.  9/27/2009 - Favre wins the game for the Vikings with a last second TD pass.
     The 49ers came into the game with an optimistic 2-0 record and had their sights on the playoffs after defeating both the Cardinals and the Seahawks.  They led 24-20 in the final minute after a hard-fought battle with the Vikings that involved multiple-lead changes, but Favre would have the last word.  A defensive meltdown allowed Favre to march downfield and find Greg Lewis in the end zone from 32 yards out with 2 seconds to go, as the Vikings took a 27-24 lead. This was a chance for the 49ers to finally prove that they were a playoff team - this was a game that playoff teams win - and they failed..  Yes, you could say that a moral victory could be obtained from this, as the 49ers fought neck-and-neck with one of the NFL's elite teams, but at some point, you need real victories and not just moral ones.


1.  8/24/2009 - Spilborghs hits a walk-off grand slam for the Rockies in the bottom of the 14th.
      So much hung in the balance in the series.  The Giants came in two games down in the standings and could have achieved a tie by winning three out of four.  But after two straight losses, the Giants were simply looking to salvage the series and stay close in the Wildcard race.  With 3 runs in the top of the 14th, things seemed to be going their way in the series finale, but a bullpen meltdown in the bottom half culminating in a walk-off grand slam for the Rockies gave the Giants a devastating, season-killing loss, dropping them four games back of the Rockies in the Wildcard.  A surprisingly successful season that had inspired Giants fans had finally hit its bump in the road.  Despite the fact that the Giants followed this series up optimism-brewing home-sweep of the Rockies, this series would haunt them, as the Rockies would hold on to their Wildcard lead for the rest of the season.




(Next post to come: Best 10 Moments)